#platform/youtube #channel/Master-YongHua #playlist/dharma-glimpses  The no self here refers to the fact that you have a choice. That's how I see it. No self here doesn't mean that you can't love anymore. You can't like anyone anymore. You because it's no self. When you say I like you, meaning there's an I there, right? And there's a you. Okay? But let's worry about the I first. I like you. I love you. There's an I there. Okay? It means that if you are have no self, you're incapable of liking someone, of loving someone. It's so untrue. No self refers that to the fact that you have a choice. You have a choice to have a self versus a choice of having no self. You have a self in order to better connect with someone else. your wife, your boyfriend, your daughter, your teacher. How can you connect with someone if there's no self? Buddha is not teaching you to have no self so that you can let go of your husband and say, "I don't need you anymore. Get out. I'm—I'm no self. I'm don't care for you, sis, anymore because I really have wisdom now. I have no self." Okay? I don't look at you as my sister anymore. Then who's going to study Buddhism? You see my problem? So all these concepts to me are somewhat misleading. So what I'm presenting to you is no self means that you have a choice that when you need to connect with someone, when you need to connect with your son, you better have a self. I'm daddy. Your son cannot love a no self person. My son has need to love daddy who has gray hair and who has no hair left. Very loud. Shall I continue? See that? How can you possibly have a relationship is no self? To me, this is not what Buddhism is about. Buddhism is about you have a self in order. The self there is so loving is so so much more much kinder than before compared to someone who has a self. A person who has no self actually is kinder. You get my point. My point here is that let me assure you let me assure you that that no self here in Buddhism is a wonderful thing where you actually are kinder more compassionate than a person who has a self. It's sometimes you need to have enter the state of no self in order to help someone. Whereas for you who don't know what a no self is, the only way for you to help your daughter is with the self. You cannot help your daughter when you have no self. How's that? You lacking one dimension in your relationship. I can help you as a no self. Meaning that I'm help you because it's good for you. It's not necessarily good for me. Whereas if you have a self, I help you because it's also good for me. You understand? It's it's one added dimension where your relationship is also based on not just the self but also based on the no self. So it has one more dimension in your relationship. It's not like it's not like the the the misconception about the non Buddhist believers is they say if you have no self then what's going to happen to me to your wife to your son so forth okay it's only because they don't get it I'm telling you it's one more way to love your son as no self to love your husband as no self it's wonderful Atom to a